worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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