highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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