At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
