I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
