This is not my ceiling
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
