dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
two words: eviction party
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
