No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
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