just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
