Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
