Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
