sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I need a beard to bite.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
