He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
