don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
