Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize