I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
