Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
