operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
