My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
