I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
