The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
