Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
