We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
