I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
