Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
