We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
