You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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