I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
