i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
