She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
