I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
