Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
