i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Who died my cat blue again?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
