I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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