Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
