let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm always down for nudity.
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