that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
