it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
