Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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