my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
