i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He did a backflip because drugs
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
