oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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