i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
