well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
