Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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