Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
