Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You left your phone here
Wait...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
