Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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