Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
