Having a random hookup so left but love u
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
