sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
